That was my very first headshot and this is me today. You can actually see the fear in those young little eyes.
Oh how I wish I could whisper in the ears of my old self that everything is gonna be alright. You will THRIVE, you will be LOVED, you will have HEALTH, SUCCESS will find you, but you’re gonna have to WORK for it.
I never knew how miserable I was. I was so scared of failing that I bad mouthed myself and ate and drank myself into believing I was not enough. Not enough to be loved, not enough to make it in NYC, and not worthy of maintaining a healthy weight.
I went to a performing arts Conservatory and as a Musical Theatre Major, I HAD to move. Literal physical movement was required. 4 years ballet, tap, and jazz. Not to mention 4 years of mask work, yoga, tai chi, period movement, circus skills, stage combat, I’m sure I am forgetting something. Well I sucked at all of it. I hated my body. Again, I was scared. Scared of failing, scared of being cut from the program, scared of not getting the role, scared of being compared to my classmates. And I was lazy.
I moved to New York and continued to eat and drink myself silly, but at some point, the bad mouthing stopped. Then I joined the Y and started jumping around with all of these older ladies and all of a sudden I was FREE. No one was looking at me, judging me, or casting me at that Y. I began to feel and look better and began to move with ease, grace and JOY. I actually stopped drinking 12 years ago just so I can get up early and not be hungover to make it to aerobics classes. I still love food and go rounds of being really mindful about nutrition and then having whole days go by where sugar was the only thing that passed my lips. Balance is the goal, in all things really.
I followed one of my teachers to Equinox-the greatest gym in all the land-and now you can find me in dance class in the front row with a tshirt on that says ” I Love My Life.” And it is not just a saying, it is the most important lesson I have learned.
Relationships will come and go, success and abundance will come and go, health will even come and go-but through it all, I am the constant. And I have to love who I am and where I am first and foremost and the other stuff will find me.
Lisa Adams is an actress, performer and a personal chef with a passion for storytelling. Her life is the perfect balance between creativity and service. Lisa lives and thrives in New York City!